Arrivederci Alitalia

"Arrivederci Alitalia" was the not so subtle slogan emblazoned in 4 foot high letters along the length of the Ryanair Boeing 737 on which I'd spent the last couple of hours. The slogan clearly making a self satisfying, smug & rather embarrassing reference to the plight of Italy's beleaguered and bankrupt national airline. So it was with an appreciable amount of embarrassment that I exited the plane into the warm glow of an Tuscan Saturday morning and proceeded along the tarmac to the Pisa arrivals hall.

My plan was to go to Florence for the day and then head back to Pisa in the evening, where my hotel was located. Sunday would be spent taking in the delights of Pisa before heading back to the airport for the return trip. Little did I know, quite how long I would spend in Pisa this morning !

I breezed through the arrivals hall, bypassing the baggage carousel as I had hand luggage only and went in search of the train station. The station, I discovered is located at the far end of the terminal building, near the departure check-in desks so I had to negotiate my way through both the arrivals hall and the departures hall. Eventually I left the gloomy terminal building and exited into brilliant sunshine. I looked around for a train ticket machine but couldn't find one. Nor could I find any ticket booth. After a brief, but ultimately fruitless search I found myself inside of the terminal building once again and spotted the sign for Train tickets, or biglietto as it is in Italian, at the very far end of the terminal building alongside arrivals from where I had originally come ! Now wouldn't you think that the station and the ticket office would be located at the same end of the terminal ? How about putting the ticket office, in the station itself ?? I was thinking this as I followed the signs back through the terminal. Now where are the ticket machines ? I was dismayed to see that there weren't any, only a single ticket window which was barely visible at the head of a truly enormous queue. No ticket machine ? At an airport with tens of thousands of visitors, many of which need to travel by train to somewhere else ? I best queue up then ! I waited patiently in line for nearly 40 minutes. Whilst queuing my gaze fixed upon a handwritten sign that said "left luggage" and a large arrow pointing left. I naturally looked left expecting to see a little window with a cheery man inside it or maybe a little door into a vacuous room, so I was amazed to see another handwritten sign also saying "left luggage" with an equally large arrow pointing to the right. Huh ? Presumably you just leave your baggage in a large heap roughly halfway between the two signs ? This is going to be an interesting trip ! I was eventually dealt with by a clearly overworked but incredibly helpful & patient girl who sold me a ticket to Florence and ushered me in the general direction of the station. Proudly clutching my ticket I fought my way, once again past the arrivals and departure halls and proceeded towards the station. Pisa Airport station has 2 platforms. Neither platform was occupied by a train. One had a large LED display that read "12:24 Firenze SMN" (Florence Santa Maria Station). The other platform had a blank LED board. The time was 12:17. What luck ! I'll board the direct train to Florence when it arrives. I stood on the platform and waited..... and waited.... and waited. Eventually the Worlds oldest electric train puffed, coughed and wheezed into the station and abruptly stopped at the other platform. The time now was 12:46. I went to look on the display board to see where the train was going. The board was still blank. The Firenze SMN train was still being displayed on my platform even though it should have left 20 minutes earlier but had obviously not bothered to turn up. Eventually I discovered that this museum piece of a train at the other platform was headed for Pisa Central so I climbed aboard and found myself a seat. We waited for 25 minutes until finally the electric motors breathed into life, the doors closed firmly and we moved off at walking pace....... or possibly slightly slower. After a mere 2 minutes or so, we came to a halt and I was staggered to see that we had arrived at Pisa Central. So an hour and a half after joining the ticket queue, I had travelled about a mile. Just Brilliant !

I looked at the timetable for Florence trains and saw that the next one was 13:29. It was now about 13:10 so I strolled to platform 9 to wait for it. The platform was full of faces that I recognised from my flight. We all patiently stood there, pasty faced and dressed for a UK Autumn day, hats, jumpers, jeans, jackets and coats. We didn't look like tourists at all as we vigorously perspired under a warm Italian sun! After a few minutes had passed we heard an announcement, firstly in Italian and then again in English, that "the 13:29 train to Florence would be departing from platform 5". We gathered our bags and headed off to platform 5. When we arrived, there was no sign of the train, so we settled down to wait for it's imminent arrival. Another tannoy message "The 13:29 to Florence will be departing from platform 11". Once again we gathered our belongings and headed off in search of platform 11. On arrival, another absent train and another tannoy message "The 12:54 to Florence will be departing from platform 13". 12:54 ?? It's 13:25 !!! However, I can at least see platform 13 and there is a train alongside it, albeit rather dreary looking and of advancing years. However a train is a train and we'd seen precious few of those so far this morning. We gathered up our belongings a final time and headed at speed to the platform and duly boarded. In a perverse way I was kind of enjoying this ! A couple of minutes later the doors closed and the train struggled out of the station. I was beginning to think that my whole weekend would be spent standing at station platforms in Pisa. However we were now definitely on our way to Florence, albeit some 30 minutes later than advertised.... or 5 minutes early depending on how you view it. The trains age was abundantly clear and had obviously seen better days. It was plainly struggling to achieve any sort of speed and was groaning & squealing loudly at every opportunity. I didn't mind however, I was on my holidays and whilst I didn't expect to be overtaken by a man walking, I say again WALKING, his rather skinny looking dog nor spend all day looking at the Pisa suburbs, complete with Italian graffiti and that dilapidated heavy industry you always see near railway lines, I wasn't in any rush. Good job too. The train eventually wheezed into the first station, like it had just completed a marathon, all wobbly legs and in need of a bacofoil blanket, whereupon the whole carriage immediately filled with smoke! Clearly something was amiss. I popped my head out of the window and through the plumes of smoke emanating from beneath our very feet I could clearly see the unmistakable lick of flames. Not wanting to alarm my fellow passengers, I didn't shout "FIRE" at the top of my voice, I said it very quietly. "Pardon?" was the response, "we're on fire" I exclaimed slightly louder, much to the concern of all around. Within moments the conductor appeared, or at least some train official who announced in her best English "there's a problem with the train". Yes, we had noticed. She proceeded "You see the doors, are, how you say ? locked ?" Huh ? "We cannot open the doors, did anybody want to get off at this station?" So let's have a brief recap shall we ? We're on fire and the doors are jammed" Fantastic. I haven't had this much fun in years. At no time had this lady mentioned the fire that continued to burn only inches beneath us so I asked her if she knew. "We have a fire?" she seemed surprised. "Oh yes, can't you smell it ??" was my ever so slightly sarcastic response. She thought for a moment as if trying to solve a crime, before announcing "It'll be the brakes!" "Do the brakes often catch fire?" Well, I thought it rude not to ask. "Oh yes" she replied "they do that all of the time". Well that's nice to know I thought.

After a few minutes, the smoke had largely cleared and all that remained was a strong smell of burning oil. You know that smell ? The one that you always encounter before you die horribly in a huge fireball and the dentist has to make a wild stab in the dark as to who you may have been ! The train, still with dangerously jammed doors and a pungent aroma, mustered the strength to attempt another station and pulled away. This scenario was to carry on for around another hour & a half, although admittedly - and thankfully - the smoke and fire seemed to subside the longer we went. As we were approaching Empoli station, the conductor appeared again. "There's a problem with the train" She's full of good news isn't she ? I did wonder what it was now. Attacked by cutlass wielding pirates perhaps ? The driver drunk at the wheel? Squirrels on the line? Nothing would surprise me with this rail network. It was actually a hydraulic problem on this occasion. She continued "there is a train behind us which is also going to Florence" I cynically assumed this was the 11:08 from platform 6 but actually left unannounced from platform 12 at 13:50 and had caught us up, purely because it hadn't had a fire, dodgy brakes, a jammed door or any hydraulic problems ! "If anybody wants to leave this train and get on that train, you'll get to Florence much quicker, possibly even by Tuesday" Well, she didn't actually say Tuesday, I made that bit up, but you get the picture. There was much discussion from my fellow passengers. One lady even asked me if I was changing trains "Are you kidding me? I'm having too much fun on this one. Besides where else are you going to have this much comedy on a train ? Well, apart from Britain of course. I'm staying on this train and getting my moneys worth. It's the most fun I've had in ages" Surprisingly this outburst seemed to settle all of the discussions and nobody in my carriage left. As we pulled into Empoli we watched as hordes of passengers left our crippled, old but feisty little engine and crossed the tracks to the opposite platform. I swear the lady opposite wiped away a tear as she looked longingly out of the window and realised that it could have been her !




The rest of the journey into Florence was uneventful after that, maybe the lighter weight of the now, near deserted train gave the locomotive a second wind and it did build up some speed as we passed through some glorious Tuscan scenery, bathed in autumnal sunshine. The trip ended in a triumphant flurry of smoke and diesel fumes as we pulled into the cities main station. It was now after 3pm, so much for my day out in Florence !!!

Florence is the Capital City of Tuscany, and has a population of around 350,000. It is largely considered the birthplace of the Italian Renaissance.
Like Pisa, the city lies on the banks of the River Arno and is crossed by one of Florence's finest attractions, The Medieval 'Ponte Vecchio' or 'The Old Bridge' - they must have been up all night thinking of that name!. This bridge is quite startling to look at. It has extended outwards, creating gravity defying shops that literally hang over the water. Enlarge the bridge photo above for a better look ! These shops were formerly built to accommodate the butchers but now they're almost all exclusively occupied by goldsmiths and jewellers.

I eventually left the bridge and went in search of the Piazza della Signoria. This entailed a rather circular route as there weren't any signposts and the streets were narrow, cobbled and wound around the city. Most of the streets looked the same which didn't help and there were very few visible landmarks to guide me. As the day wore on I navigated myself almost entirely by way of SatNav as I had brought it with me because it had been invaluable in Berlin. I would really have struggled to find my way around without it and I don't think I would ever have found my way back to the station if it wasn't for TomTom. I must admit that I was amazed at the lack of tourist signs throughout the entire weekend. I am guessing that this part of Italy is very much driven by the tourist industry and not to provide any information with regards to signposts or "you are here" maps, seemed rather shortsighted.

The Piazza della Signoria was superb. The sheer number of statues was astonishing. The centre piece was an identical copy of Michael Angelo's 'David'. Bizarrely, the original is only about half a mile further up the road! Unfortunately, 'David' (the copy) was surrounded by scaffolding which reduced it's visibility somewhat as the photo to the left illustrates. The equally naked statue depicting Hercules and Cacus looked too homo-erotic for my taste so I gave that one a wide berth. In fact clothes seemed to be rather superfluous in renaissance Italy as none of the statues seemed to have any. Additionally, McDonalds clearly had not made an impact on Italian life in those days as the physiques on all of the statues were very impressive. Absolutely no beer bellies or man boobs to be seen. Although there were plenty of todgers ! The square was heaving, presumably with tourists such as I, but also shoppers passing through. There was a horse and cart doing brisk business. I sat down and watched the people go by. My feet were hurting, especially my left instep which didn't feel good at all. I didn't recall banging it in anyway so I assumed that my trainers weren't providing sufficient support on the cobbles. Still, I'm made of strong stuff and decided that there was little I could do, other than to stoically put up with it.

I headed off to the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore (Florence Cathedral). This buildings architecture was stunning and had an enormous bell tower alongside. Italy certainly knows how to create magnificent buildings. The Basilica was started in 1296 and took 170 years to complete, no doubt with numerous tea breaks and much staring into holes saying the Italian equivalent of "oooooooh it's going to cost you".

After several hours hobbling around Florence, enjoying the sunshine and soaking in the atmosphere, as well as getting hideously lost when the SatNav was in my pocket to save battery, I arrived back at the Santa Maria Station and bought my ticket from a machine. The train was leaving from platform 11 in 10 minutes but by now I was highly dubious of any of TrenItalia's claims but I went to platform 11 in any case. I didn't expect to see a train at the platform so I was staggered to see that there was... but it wasn't going to Pisa as I'll explain. The LED board for platform 11 said "Pisa Central" and I even spotted a train driver in the cab, this was looking promising. I tried to think of the Italian for "Excuse me Sir, Is this the train to Pisa at all?" but settled in the end for a much less adventurous "Pisa ?" with a point of the finger at his train. The man smiled and shook his head. "Thata traina" he responded and pointed enthusiastically at the train standing on the opposite platform under a huge sign saying 'Grosseto' - wherever or whatever that is ! I was a little unsure as to whether this drivers information could be relied upon but in the absence of anything else, I thought I'd chance it anyway. Luckily for me, he was right ! The train was such a difference to the one in which I had arrived. This train was new, clean and a double decker. It smelt fresh, wasn't covered in graffiti and had air conditioning. The only negative was that it was absolutely heaving, standing room only. Clearly the residents of Western Italy had all travelled to Florence for a days shopping and were now on their way home. Around 15 minutes after boarding, the doors closed and the train glided out of Florence into the low sunshine of a Tuscan evening. The ride back to Pisa was uneventful. I even managed to find a seat after a couple of stops. I was thankful of the sit down as even with a shortened walk this afternoon, the cobbled streets had taken their toll on my feet and my trainers weren't as robust as I would have liked. My feet were killing me, especially my left one, which it later transpired had swollen to twice it's original size, making shoe removal extremely difficult. On arrival in Pisa, I once again fired up the SatNav and headed off in search of the hotel. This turned out to be around 20 minutes walk from the station and with my feet in agony, was spent with a fixed grimace on my face. I was therefore very relieved when the hotel came into view. Minutes later I was checked in and turning the key into the door lock. The hotel was excellent and at £63 for the night was quite a bargain.

I woke the following morning and attempted a quick trip to the bathroom - a distance of maybe 2 metres - and I could barely make it. My left leg wouldn't carry me and my left foot was still twice the size of the right and my instep was sore to touch. I did wonder how I was going to walk around Pisa all day when I couldn't even make it to the ensuite ?

Following a delicious and hearty breakfast I exited the hotel, adopted the same grimace that I sported the previous evening and with SatNav in hand headed off in the general direction of The Torre de Pisa. Now you would have assumed that the Tower, being Pisa's biggest attraction, would be well sign posted. You would be wrong. I didn't see a single direction sign, not one. I naturally assumed that the tower would be visible all over Pisa, much like The Eiffel Tower is in Paris or the TV Tower is in Berlin but this was not the case. Even when the SatNav was telling me that I was a mere 300 yards away from the Tower, I couldn't see it. Then all of a sudden, there it was. Considerably smaller, at 55 metres, than I had anticipated and leaning at a quite alarming angle. The Tower itself is actually banana shaped, being much straighter at the top than it is at the bottom. I think this most apparent in the above photo of the Piazza del Duomo (Cathedral Square).

The Tower was built as the free standing bell tower for the Cathedral, which you can also see in the above picture and the 2 panoramics below. The dome shaped Baptistry is also located in the Piazza and doesn't look anything like a building that was completed in 1363. I can't imagine any of the buildings in modern Pisa lasting for over 600 years.

The tower began leaning shortly after construction started in 1173, due to a poorly laid foundation and loose sandy substrate that has allowed the foundation to shift. It currently leans at around 4 degrees, although it looks significantly more. I did ponder a trip to the top but I needed to buy a ticket in advance and then wait until my given time. I was concerned about my ability to climb the 294 steps with my bad leg and felt embarressed that I may hold up those coming up the narrow and spiral steps behind me. I decided that on this occasion I'd pass on the opportunity and view the scenery from ground level.




The Tower is an amusing place to hang out for an hour or so. This is largely due to watching countless people try to create the perfect "Here's me holding up the leaning tower" pose. You cannot believe the numbers of people who stand around with their arms out whilst cameramen say "left a bit, a bit more, a bit more, no that's too much, right a bit, that's it !" On my visit there seemed to be an exceptionally large number of American's in town, maybe there always is. They were easily identifiable wearing their shorts and baseball hats. The Japanese were also in large numbers and as always travelled in enomous groups taking photo's of everything, regardless of how mundane. I could have spent all weekend in that piazza just watching the tourists.

After an hour or so I left the Piazza del Duomo and started to wander back towards the City Centre, passing through the Old Town. This was dominated by old, perhaps medieval brightly coloured houses with terracotta roof tiles. The River Arno meanders slowly through the City and the houses on the banks are particularly pretty.


Eventually, I found myself back at the station and as I was in considerable pain, I decided that I didn't want to walk much more. My flight was due to leave in a couple of hours so I thought it was a good time to catch the train back to the airport and thereafter my flight home. I had taken note of the platform number on my arrival the day before (platform 14) and amazingly the train duly arrived at that very platform (first time this weekend) and even more amazingly, it departed at roughly the correct time. Another first ! Once again, the train ride between the city and the airport lasted a shorter length of time than it took you to read this paragraph but at least it didn't involve me having to walk and for that I was very grateful.

The whole weekend was excellent, hysterically funny on the Saturday and Italy's rail system really makes ours look World class. I highly recommend a trip and as the plane climbed out of Pisa and into the deep blue sky over the equally blue waters of the Mediterranean, I remember thinking "Arriverderci Italia, the airline may not return but I certainly will".

Things I've learnt this week

Pisa airport needs ticket machines
To wear better shoes when walking extensively on cobblestones
That Italy needs better tourist signposts and a better rail system !


Things that have made me smile this week

The TrenItalia trainset - total chaos... but it wouldn't be the same if it worked !!

Until the next time.....

Catching up......

I've been quite tardy in not updating this since mid July, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been busy. I thought that it was probably about time that I posted a quick catch up, so in no particular order...

I changed jobs. This wasn't my decision mind you, but a consequence of my life as a contractor. I joined this client for 6 weeks and they kept me for 6 months. Eventually however they couldn't negotiate any further extensions with Head Office and the axe fell on 31st July, which was very disappointing as I did enjoy working there and would have accepted a permanent deal if one had been offered. Never mind, it's a contractors life I guess ? However, in anticipation of my impending departure I had already arranged a new contract to begin a week after my old contract expired. This was so I could take the opportunity of having a week off to chill out. This was to be my first week off in 13 months and I was looking forward to it immensely. Unfortunately the weather in early August was awful so I didn't do as much as I would have liked.

Whilst I was off on my weeks leave, I did take a long overdue trip to Chester Zoo. I love the Zoo, especially the Bat cave which is just the best exhibit. One of the reasons that I love Chester Zoo especially, is the large number of enclosures where there aren't any bars. The enclosures are cleverly designed to allow the animals to be fully viewed but without any danger of the animals escaping. The bat cave is a prime example of this. The bats fly around the enclosure whilst the public walk about beneath them. Occasionally a bat comes down to the floor and you really have to watch your step to avoid treading on them. Another example of the fabulous enclosures at the zoo is Lemur Island. Quite literally this is an island, viewable from all sides and the Lemurs swing about in the trees, just like nature intended. No bars. No cages. No restrictions. Other highlights were the elephants, the Orangutans and the almost un-noticed leaf cutter ants that live on a small tree in the middle of a public walkway and busily go about cutting leaves and carrying them back to their nest. Most people don't notice them, assuming as I did, that the tree it's nothing more than a fancy "house plant" decoration but closer inspection proves otherwise. As always a day at Chester Zoo is a fantastic day out.

I've bought a bike ! I'd been thinking of buying one for ages and eventually found a great deal on the Internet. It's a 21 speed, flappy paddle gearbox Raleigh Toronto mountain bike with disc breaks. It should have cost me £260 but because it was 'end of line', I picked it up for £130.. result ! My plan is to ride it mainly on the various cycle path's around my area, rather than on the roads. Having acquired the usual safety accessories, I've taken it out on a handful of occasions but I don't expect to get much use out of it until the Spring, given the weather we experience from this time of the year.

I'm still kayaking regularly on the River Dee and luckily we've had a few decent weekends, weather wise in order to do it. The tranquility of the river is particularly engaging and I'm always amazed by the acceptance of the wildlife of my presence. The ducks and swans ignore me as I paddle past as do the kingfishers, herons, cormorants, water voles and numerous other creatures that inhabit that particular section of the river. It was only recently when flying over Chester on yet another trip into Europe, that I was dismayed to see how short a distance I paddle when I'm out on the water. I always assumed I was paddling for miles as my usual route takes me a couple of hours from start to finish but, when viewed from above, it was an embarrassingly short distance ! Never mind, I think it's good exercise and incredibly relaxing.

I spent one of my days off going to the delightful town (or is it a village?) of Betwsy Coed in North Wales within the heart of the Snowdonia National Park. As always the town was alive with tourists but it's easy to see why. Betswy Coed is surrounded by the soaring mountains of Snowdonia, has the River Conwy running through it in a seemingly never ending rush towards the distant sea. This rush creating white water over the rapids. Betwsy Coed has delightfully pretty cottages with picket fences and colourful hanging baskets and is well worth a visit. Additionally, I always enjoy the drive to Betswy Coed, preferring to take the quiet back roads through the countryside, dodging the grazing sheep rather than taking the featureless A55 dual carriageway along the coast. The photo at the top of this post, and the ones below were taken on one of these back roads. The photo immediately above shows the River Conwy passing through Betwsy Coed.





I went ghost hunting at Woodchester Mansion in Gloucestershire with my friend Susie from Birmingham. As regular readers will know, Woodchester Mansion is one of my favourite haunted locations and it must be a year since I was last there. Susie had never been and was really looking forward to it. The drive to the mansion is spooky in itself as you have to drive slowly through the woods. On this particular occasion the wind was strong and the enormous clouds were depositing large volumes of rainwater. The wind and the rain made the woods very noisy as we passed through in near total darkness, apart from the convoy of car headlights from our fellow paranormal investigators. The clouds were scuttling across the sky but every so often a break in the clouds would expose a full moon making the whole scene very eerie indeed. Unfortunately, the mansion was quieter than usual in terms of paranormal activity with very little of note occurring. However, as always it was a privilege to spend an evening there. We broke at around 5am and after a brief sleep in a local Travelodge, we headed over to nearby Bath for lunch. The traffic into Bath was truly horrific. It must have taken us well over an hour to travel a couple of miles into what seemed to be the only car park in the City. The weather was now glorious, an astonishing change from the night before and once we had parked (by now, mid afternoon) we enjoyed a pleasant Saturday afternoon stroll through the city - dodging an unprecedented number of Ambulances. Bath has never struck me as being a dangerous place but I think that Susie and I were the only one's in Bath not in need of medical assistance that day ! Although, I do wonder whether calling an ambulance was a subtle method the locals use to get through the traffic ?? Bath was superb, reminding me very much of Chester and York. A fact I put down to the Roman heritage it shares with both of those cities. We did head towards the river but couldn't find a route to the waters edge and the restaurants at the rivers edge all required a mortgage to eat there, which put us off somewhat. We did however enjoy a very tasty Thai lunch at a very reasonable price a little later. Susie had spotted the restaurant on the way in to the city and somehow managed to find it again within the myriad of narrow streets that comprise the centre of this roman city. My sense of direction was sadly lacking in that respect and we'd still be looking even now if restaurant navigation was down to me. We eventually headed back to the car and after stopping for strawberries at a street side seller, headed for our respective homes. The picture below is an panoramic of Bath Cathedral.


My killifish have been breeding and rather than let the fry fend for themselves in the tank as usual - which in reality means they get eaten, I decided to remove the eggs and rear them myself. This entailed purchasing a small 10 litre tank, a heater, filter and other essentials. Now some 2 months on, I have 11 baby killifish and 2 baby Leopard Danio (whose eggs must have sneaked in with the killi's). I've added a short video below that I recently shot. I'm not sure what to do with the fish as yet. I don't really have the room to keep them and I'm fully stocked in my main tank so I suspect they'll end up being given to a local fish shop for sale. I could sell them on EBay but I don't think I can be bothered with all the hassle, especially with the mail order problems of posting live fish across the UK.



I've some other trips planned for the near future. I'm heading off to Italy for a weekend one day soon. I've trips to see both little bro and his family in Sussex and older bro and his family in France. I've already booked a trip to Barcelona next year. I'm also making plans to drop into the street where they filmed the 80s comedy, Bread and also visit the road where they filmed Brookside.

Things that have made me smile this week:-

Comedian Bob Levy on The Howard Stern Show "I was having sex with this woman who was so old, when she shouted "I'm coming" she was talking to God !"

Until the next time, when I'll be writing about my Italian trip.....